Friday, May 20, 2011


THE HAT just got back from California, where he has been on extended vacation.  He stayed with Lowell's good friend Liz Reynolds, and despite her very best efforts, guess what? Cosmo managed to get himself into a heap o' trouble. WHAT A SURPRISE!

 While in the Golden State, Cosmo met, and got to know, any number of lady hats, most of them quite well indeed! This, remember, is a Traveling Hat, and he has very little, if any, shame.   The biggest news is that Cosmo narrowly escaped getting married--a first for him!  There were scary fathers, crazy redneck cousins, a kinky pirate girl, not to mention booze, parties, guns, and knives. Yes, THE HAT had himself a fine old time!

First, of course, was the hat he really went all the way to see, the lovely Chapeau Rouge.

This led, to everyone's surprise, to a trip to the altar. Rouge waited nervously for Cosmo to show up.

But alas, the marriage was not to be.  Cosmo bolted, infuriating Rouge's redneck cousin, LeRoy, who had a gun.
There were too many other hats to meet and make love to, like Anna Panama, a gorgeous doe-eyed, beautifully tan hat from Ecuador.
There was also Chapeau Verde, a fit outdoorsy Western hat, who was refreshingly sassy.
There was Luba, an exotic Russian hat, who was VERY nice to Cosmo.
There was that little hottie at the beach...
There was Amore, Anna Panama's cousin, who wanted Cosmo to run away with her.
There were clingy beach bunnies...
There was the birthday party Liz threw for him, to attend.

There was a cake that Liz baked for him, but she didn't know how many candles to put on it, because  Cosmo refused to reveal his age.

And there was Verde's dad to worry about--Daddy Stetson. He warned Cosmo against trifling, but it was like telling a fish to stay out of the water.

There was a lot going on--too much to tell about here.  Would Cosmo lose control and marry one of the lady hats?  Would he run off with Amore?  Would he dally with a pirate girl?  Would someone knife him or shoot him?  Tune in tomorrow, folks!

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